“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it” – Rumi
Most of us are so busy waiting for someone to love us that we have forgotten about the one person we need to love first – ourselves.
We are looking for love from a partner and mate, while missing out on the person who has some amazing love to give.
We will discover a source of love that doesn’t run out if we are able to fall in love with ourselves.
You may have been embarrass or ridicule severally as regards your looks, personal habits, school grades, lack of achievement or career choices. These emotional scars makes us behave in ways that push people away from us, and then the love that we crave from others might not be around for long.
We have to start the innermost process of self-discovery about love, and explore love more. Here are some tips to help you learn how to fall in love with yourself:
Be kind to yourself
Being kind to yourself increases self-confidence and lessens your need for approval. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Focus on your many positive qualities and abilities. Comparison leads to anxiety, unhealthy competitions, and self-pity. Let go of comparison and harsh judgements.
Discover yourself
Listen more to your inner thoughts by writing in a diary or journal. Your journal may contain your fears, thoughts, dreams, worries, wishes. Get to know yourself better through journaling, and listen more to what you have to say.
Practice mindfulness
Be mindful of your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about yourself, and be aware of how you treat yourself. You may experience both self-hatred and self-love, but focus on self-love.
Accept yourself
Your flaws makes you whole. Accept those scars, and failures. True love is when you fall in love with a person along with all those imperfections.
We all go through many phases in life. Some are wonderful and some are down right ugly. Learn to embrace yourself. No one is happy all the time. No one loves themselves always. See each day as a new opportunity not the same old story.
Spend time with yourself
The process of introspection is very important. Nourish your soul through a love-kindness meditation. Try sitting with yourself in a quiet place for some minutes each day. Pay close attention to your thoughts and acknowledge any self-criticisms. Afterwards, let them go.
Work on your self-trust
Self-trust means that you can trust yourself to survive situations. In other words, you refuse to give up on yourself. Let yourself be that first person you can rely on when difficult situations arise, because no one can be as consistently supportive of you as you can learn to be.
Build on your strengths
Do more of the things you are good at. Everyone is better at some things and worse at others. You probably have an idea of what things you excel at. Focus on your strengths, instead of your weaknesses, and develop your knowledge and skills.
Finding positivity
We always have a choice, so choose positivity by regularly counting your blessings. Express gratitude for the things you have, no matter how small they may be. This will help make your life richer and fulfilling.
Forgive yourself
Who said you have to be at the top of your game all the time? You can’t always get it right. It’s part of the human nature.
Mistakes is probably one of the biggest obstacles standing in the way of really being in love with yourself. Learn to forgive yourself for making those mistakes, taking those wrong decisions. Take responsibility and learn from your mistakes.
Give yourself in service
When you give yourself in service to others by showing love and kindness, the door to self-love will open. Service brings joy into our lives. Giving to others is a gift of love you can give yourself, and it is one of the greatest ways to love yourself.
Have fun
Indulge in anything that gives you happiness and makes you feel lighter. Pick up a hobby, be creatively active, read a book, paint, do exercise, take a long nap, listen to music, meditate, take a spa treatment, go on a vacation, etc. In everything that you do, do not forget to have fun!
Can you honestly say you love yourself?
Loving yourself unconditionally means getting rid of negative thoughts about yourself and any self-criticism.
You wouldn’t want a person you love to live in a stressed state of mind or to avoid doing things they love, would you?
Create a life you love and surround yourself with people who love you and think the best of you. Do not get deterred by societal pressure, comparison, constant criticism, and demands. Always remember, there is no such thing as “a life that is better than yours”. Just LOVE YOURS.
If I didn’t love myself who would 💖
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Nice. ❤
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YES! ❤
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🙂❤
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Thankyou. A powerful reminder of self love and acceptance. Loving onself is key to live a joyful life.❤️
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You couldn’t have said it any better.
Thank you. ❤
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Thanks a lot.❤️
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Welcome. 🙂
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in service [space] joy. ^^ ❤
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🙂❤
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Another problem with self-hate and loathing is that one often makes it for difficult for new people of interest to love them as well. Nice post.
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True words, Woody.
Thank you. ❤
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We always neglect ourselves. Self love is so important for happy living. Thanks for sharing this lovely post. 💜
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Well said.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. ❤
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This is such a beautiful balance of things to strive for when working on oneself. Such excellent advice. Having come from a dysfunctional home it took me years of therapy and working on my own self love. I wish I would have had the opportunity-to see this information when I was very young. Thank you my friend. Love to you and all your family. ❤️🦋Joni
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So touching, Joni.
It’s good to know you are in a better place right now.
Love to you and your loved ones too. ❤
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Yes it is a blessing and your post is such a helpful one for everyone really. 🤗💕❤️
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Thank you so much for your kind words, Joni. 🙏❤
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🙏🙏🦋❤️
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Yes ..
One should accept himself the way he is… appreciate …learn to love himself…then only he will learn to love others…
Regards
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Indeed. True words.
Thank you so much, Krish. ❤
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Powerful words….pure wisdom….true, we seek love without loving ourselves….great sharing & I love Rumi…
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Thank you so much, Navin.
I love Rumi too. I have read some of his quotes on your blog. Loved them. I love his works. ❤
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You’re welcome. Yeah, he’s quite unique ❤✨
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Thanks Mary, I always find some comfort in your posts. ❤
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Aww…😊
So happy to hear that.
Thank you so much, Maja. ❤
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The most essential love of the life. ❤
Great reminder and so beautifully written. 😊
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Indeed.
Thank you so much, Kriti. 🙂
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Good advices, 👍.
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Thank you. 🙂
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Yes open all barriers to love the Universe and all its creations ~ and include the self too 😊
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Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, Dilip. 🙂
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Beautifully put! Self-love is a powerful thing. I remember how amazed I was when I watched the movie Penelope, where they set up the traditional fairy tale curse that only true love can break, and it turns out to be true self-love that frees her.
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Thank you.
Loved the bits of the movie. Thanks for sharing. ❤
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Well, said! It is good to love yourself and then we can extend it to other people.
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Exactly.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. 🙂
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Solid advice on self-discovery and how to deal with unsound thoughts. (Hint, talk to yourself and don’t believe every thought that comes into your head!)
However, the premise is mistaken. “No one ever hated his own flesh,” (Ephesian 5:29) i.e. no one hates himself; only what he does. And the more he loves himself, the more he will hate what he does when it leads him away from what is good for him, often mistaking his distaste for ‘what he does’ for ‘who he is.’
See https://capost2k.wordpress.com/2016/02/07/to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is-not-the-real-question/ for more on how our self-love and cowardice motivates even suicide, not self-hatred or bravery as is the view of pop-psychology. It all rests on the definition of “self.”
Learn rather how loving yourself (which everyone automatically DOES) should lead you to love others as yourself. 🙂
Thanx for a great post!
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Amazing thoughts. I completely agree with you.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your thoughts. Will definitely check out your post. 🙏❤
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This is so well penned.😍
The very thought if love should always start by us and only us.🧡
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Thank you so much. 🙂
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My pleasure 🙂🧡
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Awww very true, self- love. So inspiring
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Thank you. 🙂
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It’s really hard to do some days, but I do love myself 😊
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Good to know, Shelly. 🙂
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Nice suggestion I’ll try to follow as much as I can. Thank you👍
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You’re welcome. 🙂
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I love it, the self is very very important. Why wait for others to fall In love? We must learn self-love. Most of the people are away from the thought of loving themselves above others.
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Great thoughts.
Thank you so much for sharing. 🙂
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It was beautiful blogging full of self love!
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Thank you. ❤
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Well well informed
Thanks so much
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You’re welcome.
Thanks for reading. 🙂
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Yes! My mantra for this year. Have you read “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It” by Kamal Ravikant? It really changed my life 🙂
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No. I haven’t. It’s good to know it changed your life. 🙂
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The idea from the book that helped most, was repeating a phrase to myself each day. I wrote about it here: https://notebookadventurer.wordpress.com/2020/09/18/if-you-truly-loved-yourself/
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Ok.
Will check it out.
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Hey thanks! 🙂
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You’re welcome. 🙂
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Beautiful.. I feel we all do love ourselves, but mostly we do it in a wrong way.. in a selfish way.. Which is not at all self love.. Rather it takes us towards self destruction.. We pamper ourselves for the wrong reasons, we justify our thoughts, some customized ones, according to our own comfort.. Which only further becomes the reason of all our sorrows..
Loving our True Self is something which needs to be harsh on ourselves too, sometimes.. Parenting and guiding our own ‘Self’, for our own betterment only.. My cents..!! 🙏🏼😇
Loving your works.. Thanks for spreading the positive and great vibes all around.. Thanks to the Light, again, I found your blog.. 🙏🏼😇👍🏼🤗👌🏼👌🏼…
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Perfectly said.
Totally agree with you.
Loved your words.
Thank you so much. 🙏❤
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Absolute pleasure here.. 🙏🏼😇
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I agree with you.. for self love is the key to a beautiful and a peaceful life… Moreover i am glad that i found your blog for it is full of positivity…
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Aww…😊
Thank you so much for your heartwarming words. It means a lot. 🙏❤
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Keep writing and keep inspiring…
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