“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it” – Rumi
Most of us are so busy waiting for someone to love us that we have forgotten about the one person we need to love first – ourselves.
We are looking for love from a partner and mate, while missing out on the person who has some amazing love to give.
We will discover a source of love that doesn’t run out if we are able to fall in love with ourselves.
You may have been embarrass or ridicule severally as regards your looks, personal habits, school grades, lack of achievement or career choices. These emotional scars makes us behave in ways that push people away from us, and then the love that we crave from others might not be around for long.
We have to start the innermost process of self-discovery about love, and explore love more. Here are some tips to help you learn how to fall in love with yourself:
Be kind to yourself
Being kind to yourself increases self-confidence and lessens your need for approval. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Focus on your many positive qualities and abilities. Comparison leads to anxiety, unhealthy competitions, and self-pity. Let go of comparison and harsh judgements.
Listen more to your inner thoughts by writing in a diary or journal. Your journal may contain your fears, thoughts, dreams, worries, wishes. Get to know yourself better through journaling, and listen more to what you have to say.
Be mindful of your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about yourself, and be aware of how you treat yourself. You may experience both self-hatred and self-love, but focus on self-love.
Your flaws makes you whole. Accept those scars, and failures. True love is when you fall in love with a person along with all those imperfections.
We all go through many phases in life. Some are wonderful and some are down right ugly. Learn to embrace yourself. No one is happy all the time. No one loves themselves always. See each day as a new opportunity not the same old story.
Spend time with yourself
The process of introspection is very important. Nourish your soul through a love-kindness meditation. Try sitting with yourself in a quiet place for some minutes each day. Pay close attention to your thoughts and acknowledge any self-criticisms. Afterwards, let them go.
Work on your self-trust
Self-trust means that you can trust yourself to survive situations. In other words, you refuse to give up on yourself. Let yourself be that first person you can rely on when difficult situations arise, because no one can be as consistently supportive of you as you can learn to be.
Build on your strengths
Do more of the things you are good at. Everyone is better at some things and worse at others. You probably have an idea of what things you excel at. Focus on your strengths, instead of your weaknesses, and develop your knowledge and skills.
We always have a choice, so choose positivity by regularly counting your blessings. Express gratitude for the things you have, no matter how small they may be. This will help make your life richer and fulfilling.
Who said you have to be at the top of your game all the time? You can’t always get it right. It’s part of the human nature.
Mistakes is probably one of the biggest obstacles standing in the way of really being in love with yourself. Learn to forgive yourself for making those mistakes, taking those wrong decisions. Take responsibility and learn from your mistakes.
Give yourself in service
When you give yourself in service to others by showing love and kindness, the door to self-love will open. Service brings joy into our lives. Giving to others is a gift of love you can give yourself, and it is one of the greatest ways to love yourself.
Indulge in anything that gives you happiness and makes you feel lighter. Pick up a hobby, be creatively active, read a book, paint, do exercise, take a long nap, listen to music, meditate, take a spa treatment, go on a vacation, etc. In everything that you do, do not forget to have fun!
Can you honestly say you love yourself?
Loving yourself unconditionally means getting rid of negative thoughts about yourself and any self-criticism.
You wouldn’t want a person you love to live in a stressed state of mind or to avoid doing things they love, would you?
Create a life you love and surround yourself with people who love you and think the best of you. Do not get deterred by societal pressure, comparison, constant criticism, and demands. Always remember, there is no such thing as “a life that is better than yours”. Just LOVE YOURS.